Ahhh, the holiday season. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, and during our absence this year, it was the time when the shit hit the fan. The way we work it is that each year Barney & I alternate which family we spend Christmas with, and this year we were with my family. As luck would have it, this is the year the Rubble family bullshit came to a head. In a way I'm sorry to have missed the show because now I have to form opinions on hearsay and not what I witnessed myself, however this issue is far from resolved so there will be more shit coming down.
I touched ever so briefly on this subject here, but I've barely scratched the surface.
Barney comes from a family of 4 children, 2 boys & 2 girls, and all siblings are married. Barney is the oldest child and so he has seen most of what went on in his family. Mom & Dad are both alive and well and involved to varying degrees in the lives of each of their 4 children, however one of the Sisters has been more dependant on the parents, both through her teen years and well into adulthood. This Sister wields the perceived power. The targets, those would be her parents, my in-laws (M & M).
Having married into this family, I know full well that there is history there deeper and more vast than I will ever know. I only have 10 years in with this clan, and the bullshit has been running deep since the Sister was a kid. The other siblings talk about how "L" is just that way and is just like that, and always has been and always will be. According to Barney trying to talk sense to "L" would be like banging your head against the wall. Nothing gets through to her.
The issue? Well, it's complicated, I guess. In a nutshell, M & M twist themselves into pretzels to meet the needs of, and satisfy the demands of their youngest daughter. They do this to the disgust and detriment of their other 3 children. The reason, I believe, is that they are afraid of the consequences should they fail to follow through. One possible consequence, as I understand it, was that they would not be allowed access to their Grandchild. Whether a real threat or just a perceived threat, I cannot say for sure, but an effective one nonetheless. It's to the point where M & M act like gatekeepers and not only run their own game with "L" but they also run interference on any actions the other 3 siblings would like to take. It's frustrating for them to not see the issues get addressed and I'm sure it feels to them like "L" is being rewarded for her bad behaviour. I believe it is only out of respect for their parents that the other 3 siblings have not taken a harder line with this. That goes for me too as I was going to give her a dose of medicine but got talked down.
From my perspective I do not believe that "L" could completely withdraw from her parents. She needs them too much to do her bidding. What is particularly perplexing to me is that back in the day, when this threat would have first arisen, she was completely and utterly dependant on them for everything. She was a teenage Mother, lived with her parents, was supported by her parents, needed her parents, and so how the hell could that threat actually carry any weight with M & M? I don't understand why anyone took this seriously, which brings me back again to perception = reality.
Over the holidays several things came up and decisions were made that broke the family into and "us" & "them" situation, with M & M trying to remain neutral and keep everybody happy. They basically twisted themselves into their usual pretzel shapes. Anyway, the result was that the "us" & the "them" went their separate ways, each making their own decisions and one of the results was that nobody spent Christmas together.
This past Boxing Day Barney's Brother & his Wife ( T & T) hosted an Open House. All branches of the family were present, except for us (still out of town) and "L"'s family. Apparently at some point "L"'s Husband showed up at the function, not to participate, but to say how "L" is fed up with all the gossip going around and he said "L" and M & M have to get together and deal with their problems. He states that SHE's tired of everyone talking behind her back and not communicating directly with her!
All of this bullshit was just too much for my SIL "T" to take and she let him have it with both barrels. She just laid it all out there and said what many of the rest of us have been thinking. Have I mentioned that I love my SIL? Seriously, she's a straight shooter and for this and for many other reasons, she's one of my favourite people.
Anyway, while "T" does not regret anything she said she does somewhat regret the manner & some of the colourful language used. (She & I are colourful people, the rest of the clan we married into, not so much).
And so we will now enter 2007 with nothing resolved, the air thick with all of the heretofore unsaid thoughts, and I'm interested to see where we end up.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Yer A Fucking Idiot!
Yes, those words have passed my lips more than 30 times while driving this holiday week. Oh my fucking god! I understand that not everybody is good at driving, but jesus christ! Smarten the fuck up!
At this time of year everybody who has access to a car is out there and driving it. 16 with no experience? 84 with no sight? more people than seat belts? unrestrained infants & children? Yes, I've seen it all, and most of it I've narrowly escaped.
My favourite move, and admittedly I did not know it was my favourite move when I started this post, was the ever loving right hand turn from the left hand lane...on the highway! Yes, this beauty happened to me on the snow covered highway by the little town of Princeton this week. Gotta love the elderly. I had followed her for a good 80 k, and when the highway reached town I decided to move to the outside lane, and she stayed put in the inside lane. All was well. Until she decided to turn right. right. in. front. of. me! I was too stunned to honk, too stunned to yell and in fact all I did manage to do was stand on my brake pedal and evade her advancing red Taurus. Did I mention there was snow on the highway? Fuck I thought I was going to paste her and she was completely oblivious. Only once she had completed her turn did she look back to see me, stopped sort of sideways on the highway, holding my head. I thought it was going to explode. Lady, yer a fucking idiot!
At this time of year everybody who has access to a car is out there and driving it. 16 with no experience? 84 with no sight? more people than seat belts? unrestrained infants & children? Yes, I've seen it all, and most of it I've narrowly escaped.
My favourite move, and admittedly I did not know it was my favourite move when I started this post, was the ever loving right hand turn from the left hand lane...on the highway! Yes, this beauty happened to me on the snow covered highway by the little town of Princeton this week. Gotta love the elderly. I had followed her for a good 80 k, and when the highway reached town I decided to move to the outside lane, and she stayed put in the inside lane. All was well. Until she decided to turn right. right. in. front. of. me! I was too stunned to honk, too stunned to yell and in fact all I did manage to do was stand on my brake pedal and evade her advancing red Taurus. Did I mention there was snow on the highway? Fuck I thought I was going to paste her and she was completely oblivious. Only once she had completed her turn did she look back to see me, stopped sort of sideways on the highway, holding my head. I thought it was going to explode. Lady, yer a fucking idiot!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Lots O Thoughts
So many thoughts, so little blogging time. December is an absurdly busy month all by itself, but add to that the fact that I work in the transportation industry, and it just multiplies into its very own special kind of hell insanity. I've worked over 30 hours so far this week and I've only put 3 days in. My Christmas shopping was done last week so my evenings this week have been consumed with wrapping & preparing to ship gifts. Today I sent out 8 packages to 4 different locations in 2 different countries. I also arranged a Christmas luncheon for myself and 79 of my closest co-workers, and that took up a good chunk of my day.
I've had lots I wanted to say and I quite simply haven't had the time to put the thoughts onto the keyboard. The many topics include, but are not limited to; bad drivers (no shit eh?), Christmas shopping crazies, more assholes & their shopping carts, the things I know that apparently nobody else does (more on this later if I fucking remember), rock concerts & old ladies, life lessons & unbelievable actions & inaction of those around me. I swear, it's all good shit, but its now all jumbled in my head and therefore undecipherable, even to me. *sigh*
2 more days of work and I'll be on vacation for the better part of 2 weeks. Hallefreakinglujah! Until after we get back from visiting the 'rents I shall likely not have anotherfucking chance opportunity to share my thoughts. Betty, out!
I've had lots I wanted to say and I quite simply haven't had the time to put the thoughts onto the keyboard. The many topics include, but are not limited to; bad drivers (no shit eh?), Christmas shopping crazies, more assholes & their shopping carts, the things I know that apparently nobody else does (more on this later if I fucking remember), rock concerts & old ladies, life lessons & unbelievable actions & inaction of those around me. I swear, it's all good shit, but its now all jumbled in my head and therefore undecipherable, even to me. *sigh*
2 more days of work and I'll be on vacation for the better part of 2 weeks. Hallefreakinglujah! Until after we get back from visiting the 'rents I shall likely not have another
Sunday, December 10, 2006
What A Week
It’s been an interesting week.
There's a road hazzard in my neighbourhood who drives a marked company vehicle. He's a tool. He's an HOV cheater and shortly he's going to be getting a whole lot of negative attention. Where's my phone book?
On my way home from work on Friday there was a car accident. One that I should have seen coming, and yet somehow, I truly didn’t. It’s a bit of a confusing intersection, with 2 lanes in each direction. In one direction there are 2 through lanes, although you can make a left turn from the left lane. In the other direction one lane is a through lane, while the other is a mandatory right turn lane. Anyway, I was making a left turn from the left lane and while I was completing my turn the car immediately behind me was hit head on. I heard the horrific metal on metal crash and it was so loud I thought surely I’d been hit, but when I looked in my side view mirror I could see it wasn’t me. I pulled over, turned off my vehicle, put on my hazards and hurried over to see what the hell was going on. The car behind me was driven by a young woman, and on impact her airbags had deployed. When I reached her car it had filled with smoke and she was still sitting it, stunned and obviously in shock. Some man helped me wrenched her car door open and I got her out and took her over to the median to sit. I noticed her car was still pumping out smoke and realized it was still running. I went back and turned it off and grabbed her keys & her purse for her.
By this time there were a few of us trying to help and since traffic was essentially blocked one guy was trying to direct traffic. I went over to a guy driving a yellow cube van to see if he had a fire extinguisher. Again proving that it's a small world, the guy ended up being someone I used to work with. No extinguisher but he did call 911 for me.
By this time I noticed the driver of the other vehicle, a mini van, was out and wandering about. He was quick to talk about maybe being hurt but would not heed my suggestion to sit down and rest. He was much more interested in establishing blame. Shortly afterwards the emergency vehicles arrived and suffice to say that all departments were well represented. Since there was nothing else I could offer I left. I believe the guy who was directing traffic must have witnessed the accident and he stayed behind. I’m still dumbfounded about how this could have occurred within 10 feet of me, yet I never saw the oncoming vehicle. The only thing I can imagine is that the driver of the van had been in the right hand turn lane, and then cut over, illegally, to go straight, and the vehicle behind me thought the intersection was still clear. All I know for sure is that when I commenced my left turn there was nobody even close to me in the oncoming through lane. Nobody.
In other news, I found out last week that the Dad of one of my High School friends had died of cancer. My Mom is fighting cancer. The friend's Dad was my Dad’s age. It’s been 20 years since we graduated High School. Some things never change, nor some people. The guys who would hang out and drink in the parking lot in High School did that today in the parking lot of the funeral home. It was a very odd and yet familiar sight.
Today a group of 8 of us school friends gathered to attend the service for our friend’s Dad. I won’t say it was a memorial service because it felt more like a celebration of his life. I did not know the man, but by the end of the service I felt as though I had. I certainly knew more about his son, my friend. This passing of a parent is the beginning the inevitable. One day it will be my turn to talk about my parents and share the essence of who they were. I’m not ready.
There's a road hazzard in my neighbourhood who drives a marked company vehicle. He's a tool. He's an HOV cheater and shortly he's going to be getting a whole lot of negative attention. Where's my phone book?
On my way home from work on Friday there was a car accident. One that I should have seen coming, and yet somehow, I truly didn’t. It’s a bit of a confusing intersection, with 2 lanes in each direction. In one direction there are 2 through lanes, although you can make a left turn from the left lane. In the other direction one lane is a through lane, while the other is a mandatory right turn lane. Anyway, I was making a left turn from the left lane and while I was completing my turn the car immediately behind me was hit head on. I heard the horrific metal on metal crash and it was so loud I thought surely I’d been hit, but when I looked in my side view mirror I could see it wasn’t me. I pulled over, turned off my vehicle, put on my hazards and hurried over to see what the hell was going on. The car behind me was driven by a young woman, and on impact her airbags had deployed. When I reached her car it had filled with smoke and she was still sitting it, stunned and obviously in shock. Some man helped me wrenched her car door open and I got her out and took her over to the median to sit. I noticed her car was still pumping out smoke and realized it was still running. I went back and turned it off and grabbed her keys & her purse for her.
By this time there were a few of us trying to help and since traffic was essentially blocked one guy was trying to direct traffic. I went over to a guy driving a yellow cube van to see if he had a fire extinguisher. Again proving that it's a small world, the guy ended up being someone I used to work with. No extinguisher but he did call 911 for me.
By this time I noticed the driver of the other vehicle, a mini van, was out and wandering about. He was quick to talk about maybe being hurt but would not heed my suggestion to sit down and rest. He was much more interested in establishing blame. Shortly afterwards the emergency vehicles arrived and suffice to say that all departments were well represented. Since there was nothing else I could offer I left. I believe the guy who was directing traffic must have witnessed the accident and he stayed behind. I’m still dumbfounded about how this could have occurred within 10 feet of me, yet I never saw the oncoming vehicle. The only thing I can imagine is that the driver of the van had been in the right hand turn lane, and then cut over, illegally, to go straight, and the vehicle behind me thought the intersection was still clear. All I know for sure is that when I commenced my left turn there was nobody even close to me in the oncoming through lane. Nobody.
In other news, I found out last week that the Dad of one of my High School friends had died of cancer. My Mom is fighting cancer. The friend's Dad was my Dad’s age. It’s been 20 years since we graduated High School. Some things never change, nor some people. The guys who would hang out and drink in the parking lot in High School did that today in the parking lot of the funeral home. It was a very odd and yet familiar sight.
Today a group of 8 of us school friends gathered to attend the service for our friend’s Dad. I won’t say it was a memorial service because it felt more like a celebration of his life. I did not know the man, but by the end of the service I felt as though I had. I certainly knew more about his son, my friend. This passing of a parent is the beginning the inevitable. One day it will be my turn to talk about my parents and share the essence of who they were. I’m not ready.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
The Three Things MeMe
Three things that scare me: spiders, driving on ice, change
Three people who make me laugh: Russell Peters, My Dad, my dog - yes, he's people
Three things I love: my family, Scottish accents, sleeping in
Three things I hate: bad drivers, asparagus, incompetence
Three things I don't understand: homophobia, algebra, how to play cricket
Three things on my desk: digital camera, old green glass insulator, my wallet
Three things I'm doing right now: wracking my brain, Christmas shopping, looking forward to the weekend!
Three things I want to do before I die: travel to Europe, put my photos into albums, live debt free
Three things I can do: anything (my Dad taught me that), shop, spell
Three things you should listen to: yourself, the ocean, opinions you respect
Three things you should never listen to: rumours, people telling you what you can't do, bigots
Three things I'd like to learn: my ancestry, a second language, to fly
Three favorite foods: ice cream, cherries, baby back ribs
Three beverages I drink regularly: water, milk, pop
Three TV shows I watched as a kid: JP Patches, Grizzly Adams, Bewitched
What to do with a MeMe: Copy the questions into a new post on your blog then answer them. I tag whoever else feels up to the task.
Three people who make me laugh: Russell Peters, My Dad, my dog - yes, he's people
Three things I love: my family, Scottish accents, sleeping in
Three things I hate: bad drivers, asparagus, incompetence
Three things I don't understand: homophobia, algebra, how to play cricket
Three things on my desk: digital camera, old green glass insulator, my wallet
Three things I'm doing right now: wracking my brain, Christmas shopping, looking forward to the weekend!
Three things I want to do before I die: travel to Europe, put my photos into albums, live debt free
Three things I can do: anything (my Dad taught me that), shop, spell
Three things you should listen to: yourself, the ocean, opinions you respect
Three things you should never listen to: rumours, people telling you what you can't do, bigots
Three things I'd like to learn: my ancestry, a second language, to fly
Three favorite foods: ice cream, cherries, baby back ribs
Three beverages I drink regularly: water, milk, pop
Three TV shows I watched as a kid: JP Patches, Grizzly Adams, Bewitched
What to do with a MeMe: Copy the questions into a new post on your blog then answer them. I tag whoever else feels up to the task.
Are You All Fucking Stupid?
I swear everyone else on the roads today were fucking idiots! OMG!!!!!!
My personal highlight; a car that failed to observe their yield sign and just barely failed to sideswipe me. You know what? Swing your god-damned mother fucking head around and take a look over your shoulder! You leaning forward to look in your side mirror while leaning on the accelerator does not make for a smart move when I’m already occupying the lane. You just about gave me a heart attack when I saw you coming for me, and I’m sure I gave your pacemaker a good run for its money when I laid on the horn. And even then, you didn’t let up. Not really. You just looked stunned and kept going. You're gonna get killed!
Other observances of note;
- I was in heavy traffic on a main road when I heard a rig blowing its horn. Then traffic slowed to a crawl. When I got closer I could see that the outside lane was blocked by a rig, which had a brand new Honda hood ornament. The car must have pulled out in front of the rig, who obviously could not stop in time, and the car got T-boned.
- Some jackass turned onto the road in front of me and then swung over into my lane. I had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting him, but I figured that would be the worst of it. Nope. He proceeded to straddle 2 lanes, swinging back and forth for the better part of 2 blocks. I would never have tried to pass him, just because he was so erratic. Some other guy in a super cab pick-up truck had no qualms about blasting by the lane straddler at about 80 kms per hour. Ballsy. Really ballsy.
- Lots of HOV lane cheaters this week. I guess it's your choice to take your fucking chances on getting a ticket. How the hell would we all know you were so special if you didn't stand out like a sore thumb, all by yourself in the HOV lane. Retards!
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