It was the week of morons in silver trucks. WTF?
To the driver of the Silver Tacoma truck, plate # 7259KG, - why did you find it a) necessary and b) acceptable to pull out of your driveway right in front of me when you didn't have a hope of getting up to speed before I arrived on your ass? What the hell was that?
I'll tell you what that was. A mistake! How do I know? Because you thought better of it this morning. Yer learning, but it's a slow process.
Silverado truck, plate # 0621KD - nice move over that solid YELLOW line to complete that illegal lane change. Yep, you're a moron!
Showing posts with label Driving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Driving. Show all posts
Monday, January 29, 2007
Monday, January 15, 2007
Friday, January 12, 2007
The Spinning Disc Of Doom
Yesterday I saw, dangling from someone's rearview mirror, a disc. A compact disc, to be exact. Yes, a CD, dangling in all its one shiny side glory, alternately blinding & then distracting a driver, who should really know better than to dangle music/data as a decorative item. What the hell were they thinking?
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Random Grievances
Here we go, in no particular order;
Kevin is a jackass. He drives a p/u truck with some sort of writing on it. Part of the writing is his name and phone number. Not really sure what he does for a living, but what he does for a hobby is fail to yield the right of way and cut-off oncoming traffic by turning in front of them. We can now all have some fun by calling Kevin at 999-9062 and telling him what a tard he is. Smarten up Kevin.
Drama Queens - I've had my fill. Our relief receptionist at work is always on the phone with this person or that person and frequently bursts out with "WHUUUUUUTT?????" at the top of her vocal range. Surely there's been a death, or a horrific accident! But no. Each and every time it's something positively mundane, involving her kids or her pets. Nothing serious. Nothing important. Just loud and shrill. Shut the fuck up.
Where did you learn that shit? Seriously. Who the fuck taught you to drive? Did your parents not teach you anything? Gah! Little girl, that long line of traffic ahead of you was caused by a red light. We all had to stop. Well, all of us except you. You instead chose to drive in the oncoming traffic's lane, and then over into the painted lines in order to access the left hand turn lane. The one that many of us ahead of you were also intending to access. Thing is, we waited our fucking turns. We didn't drive into oncoming traffic and we didn't piss off a bunch of other drivers. So, you made the next light, and I did not, because, well, for the most part I obey the rules and I'm not a fuck-up like you. Because Karma is so sweet I did catch up to and got a chance to observe your other moves, such as tailgating. It's a lovely thing to do in the rain. Smart too. Now, I'm not very patient with fuck-ups like you and I wanted you to know, so that's why I stopped about 2" behind your car, got your attention and told you "you're a fucking idiot". In fact, there were two lights so I did it twice. I know you saw me too because your eyes were as big as saucers while you were reading my lips. For those who may not recognise what an asswipe you are here's how the general public can find you. This stupid bitch drives a silver Honda Accord, license plate 198 EEV. Oh yeah, and she also has a homemade "N" taped to her back window. Yes, a homemade "N". What a reject!
Oh the weather outside is frightful. Rain & snow I can take, but wind? Well, that just makes me afraid that the neighbour's trees are going to fall on our house. It's not a farfetched idea, and considering their size, they'd do quite the number on our house...and potentially on our existence.
Kevin is a jackass. He drives a p/u truck with some sort of writing on it. Part of the writing is his name and phone number. Not really sure what he does for a living, but what he does for a hobby is fail to yield the right of way and cut-off oncoming traffic by turning in front of them. We can now all have some fun by calling Kevin at 999-9062 and telling him what a tard he is. Smarten up Kevin.
Drama Queens - I've had my fill. Our relief receptionist at work is always on the phone with this person or that person and frequently bursts out with "WHUUUUUUTT?????" at the top of her vocal range. Surely there's been a death, or a horrific accident! But no. Each and every time it's something positively mundane, involving her kids or her pets. Nothing serious. Nothing important. Just loud and shrill. Shut the fuck up.
Where did you learn that shit? Seriously. Who the fuck taught you to drive? Did your parents not teach you anything? Gah! Little girl, that long line of traffic ahead of you was caused by a red light. We all had to stop. Well, all of us except you. You instead chose to drive in the oncoming traffic's lane, and then over into the painted lines in order to access the left hand turn lane. The one that many of us ahead of you were also intending to access. Thing is, we waited our fucking turns. We didn't drive into oncoming traffic and we didn't piss off a bunch of other drivers. So, you made the next light, and I did not, because, well, for the most part I obey the rules and I'm not a fuck-up like you. Because Karma is so sweet I did catch up to and got a chance to observe your other moves, such as tailgating. It's a lovely thing to do in the rain. Smart too. Now, I'm not very patient with fuck-ups like you and I wanted you to know, so that's why I stopped about 2" behind your car, got your attention and told you "you're a fucking idiot". In fact, there were two lights so I did it twice. I know you saw me too because your eyes were as big as saucers while you were reading my lips. For those who may not recognise what an asswipe you are here's how the general public can find you. This stupid bitch drives a silver Honda Accord, license plate 198 EEV. Oh yeah, and she also has a homemade "N" taped to her back window. Yes, a homemade "N". What a reject!
Oh the weather outside is frightful. Rain & snow I can take, but wind? Well, that just makes me afraid that the neighbour's trees are going to fall on our house. It's not a farfetched idea, and considering their size, they'd do quite the number on our house...and potentially on our existence.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Yer A Fucking Idiot!
Yes, those words have passed my lips more than 30 times while driving this holiday week. Oh my fucking god! I understand that not everybody is good at driving, but jesus christ! Smarten the fuck up!
At this time of year everybody who has access to a car is out there and driving it. 16 with no experience? 84 with no sight? more people than seat belts? unrestrained infants & children? Yes, I've seen it all, and most of it I've narrowly escaped.
My favourite move, and admittedly I did not know it was my favourite move when I started this post, was the ever loving right hand turn from the left hand lane...on the highway! Yes, this beauty happened to me on the snow covered highway by the little town of Princeton this week. Gotta love the elderly. I had followed her for a good 80 k, and when the highway reached town I decided to move to the outside lane, and she stayed put in the inside lane. All was well. Until she decided to turn right. right. in. front. of. me! I was too stunned to honk, too stunned to yell and in fact all I did manage to do was stand on my brake pedal and evade her advancing red Taurus. Did I mention there was snow on the highway? Fuck I thought I was going to paste her and she was completely oblivious. Only once she had completed her turn did she look back to see me, stopped sort of sideways on the highway, holding my head. I thought it was going to explode. Lady, yer a fucking idiot!
At this time of year everybody who has access to a car is out there and driving it. 16 with no experience? 84 with no sight? more people than seat belts? unrestrained infants & children? Yes, I've seen it all, and most of it I've narrowly escaped.
My favourite move, and admittedly I did not know it was my favourite move when I started this post, was the ever loving right hand turn from the left hand lane...on the highway! Yes, this beauty happened to me on the snow covered highway by the little town of Princeton this week. Gotta love the elderly. I had followed her for a good 80 k, and when the highway reached town I decided to move to the outside lane, and she stayed put in the inside lane. All was well. Until she decided to turn right. right. in. front. of. me! I was too stunned to honk, too stunned to yell and in fact all I did manage to do was stand on my brake pedal and evade her advancing red Taurus. Did I mention there was snow on the highway? Fuck I thought I was going to paste her and she was completely oblivious. Only once she had completed her turn did she look back to see me, stopped sort of sideways on the highway, holding my head. I thought it was going to explode. Lady, yer a fucking idiot!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
What A Week
It’s been an interesting week.
There's a road hazzard in my neighbourhood who drives a marked company vehicle. He's a tool. He's an HOV cheater and shortly he's going to be getting a whole lot of negative attention. Where's my phone book?
On my way home from work on Friday there was a car accident. One that I should have seen coming, and yet somehow, I truly didn’t. It’s a bit of a confusing intersection, with 2 lanes in each direction. In one direction there are 2 through lanes, although you can make a left turn from the left lane. In the other direction one lane is a through lane, while the other is a mandatory right turn lane. Anyway, I was making a left turn from the left lane and while I was completing my turn the car immediately behind me was hit head on. I heard the horrific metal on metal crash and it was so loud I thought surely I’d been hit, but when I looked in my side view mirror I could see it wasn’t me. I pulled over, turned off my vehicle, put on my hazards and hurried over to see what the hell was going on. The car behind me was driven by a young woman, and on impact her airbags had deployed. When I reached her car it had filled with smoke and she was still sitting it, stunned and obviously in shock. Some man helped me wrenched her car door open and I got her out and took her over to the median to sit. I noticed her car was still pumping out smoke and realized it was still running. I went back and turned it off and grabbed her keys & her purse for her.
By this time there were a few of us trying to help and since traffic was essentially blocked one guy was trying to direct traffic. I went over to a guy driving a yellow cube van to see if he had a fire extinguisher. Again proving that it's a small world, the guy ended up being someone I used to work with. No extinguisher but he did call 911 for me.
By this time I noticed the driver of the other vehicle, a mini van, was out and wandering about. He was quick to talk about maybe being hurt but would not heed my suggestion to sit down and rest. He was much more interested in establishing blame. Shortly afterwards the emergency vehicles arrived and suffice to say that all departments were well represented. Since there was nothing else I could offer I left. I believe the guy who was directing traffic must have witnessed the accident and he stayed behind. I’m still dumbfounded about how this could have occurred within 10 feet of me, yet I never saw the oncoming vehicle. The only thing I can imagine is that the driver of the van had been in the right hand turn lane, and then cut over, illegally, to go straight, and the vehicle behind me thought the intersection was still clear. All I know for sure is that when I commenced my left turn there was nobody even close to me in the oncoming through lane. Nobody.
In other news, I found out last week that the Dad of one of my High School friends had died of cancer. My Mom is fighting cancer. The friend's Dad was my Dad’s age. It’s been 20 years since we graduated High School. Some things never change, nor some people. The guys who would hang out and drink in the parking lot in High School did that today in the parking lot of the funeral home. It was a very odd and yet familiar sight.
Today a group of 8 of us school friends gathered to attend the service for our friend’s Dad. I won’t say it was a memorial service because it felt more like a celebration of his life. I did not know the man, but by the end of the service I felt as though I had. I certainly knew more about his son, my friend. This passing of a parent is the beginning the inevitable. One day it will be my turn to talk about my parents and share the essence of who they were. I’m not ready.
There's a road hazzard in my neighbourhood who drives a marked company vehicle. He's a tool. He's an HOV cheater and shortly he's going to be getting a whole lot of negative attention. Where's my phone book?
On my way home from work on Friday there was a car accident. One that I should have seen coming, and yet somehow, I truly didn’t. It’s a bit of a confusing intersection, with 2 lanes in each direction. In one direction there are 2 through lanes, although you can make a left turn from the left lane. In the other direction one lane is a through lane, while the other is a mandatory right turn lane. Anyway, I was making a left turn from the left lane and while I was completing my turn the car immediately behind me was hit head on. I heard the horrific metal on metal crash and it was so loud I thought surely I’d been hit, but when I looked in my side view mirror I could see it wasn’t me. I pulled over, turned off my vehicle, put on my hazards and hurried over to see what the hell was going on. The car behind me was driven by a young woman, and on impact her airbags had deployed. When I reached her car it had filled with smoke and she was still sitting it, stunned and obviously in shock. Some man helped me wrenched her car door open and I got her out and took her over to the median to sit. I noticed her car was still pumping out smoke and realized it was still running. I went back and turned it off and grabbed her keys & her purse for her.
By this time there were a few of us trying to help and since traffic was essentially blocked one guy was trying to direct traffic. I went over to a guy driving a yellow cube van to see if he had a fire extinguisher. Again proving that it's a small world, the guy ended up being someone I used to work with. No extinguisher but he did call 911 for me.
By this time I noticed the driver of the other vehicle, a mini van, was out and wandering about. He was quick to talk about maybe being hurt but would not heed my suggestion to sit down and rest. He was much more interested in establishing blame. Shortly afterwards the emergency vehicles arrived and suffice to say that all departments were well represented. Since there was nothing else I could offer I left. I believe the guy who was directing traffic must have witnessed the accident and he stayed behind. I’m still dumbfounded about how this could have occurred within 10 feet of me, yet I never saw the oncoming vehicle. The only thing I can imagine is that the driver of the van had been in the right hand turn lane, and then cut over, illegally, to go straight, and the vehicle behind me thought the intersection was still clear. All I know for sure is that when I commenced my left turn there was nobody even close to me in the oncoming through lane. Nobody.
In other news, I found out last week that the Dad of one of my High School friends had died of cancer. My Mom is fighting cancer. The friend's Dad was my Dad’s age. It’s been 20 years since we graduated High School. Some things never change, nor some people. The guys who would hang out and drink in the parking lot in High School did that today in the parking lot of the funeral home. It was a very odd and yet familiar sight.
Today a group of 8 of us school friends gathered to attend the service for our friend’s Dad. I won’t say it was a memorial service because it felt more like a celebration of his life. I did not know the man, but by the end of the service I felt as though I had. I certainly knew more about his son, my friend. This passing of a parent is the beginning the inevitable. One day it will be my turn to talk about my parents and share the essence of who they were. I’m not ready.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Are You All Fucking Stupid?
I swear everyone else on the roads today were fucking idiots! OMG!!!!!!
My personal highlight; a car that failed to observe their yield sign and just barely failed to sideswipe me. You know what? Swing your god-damned mother fucking head around and take a look over your shoulder! You leaning forward to look in your side mirror while leaning on the accelerator does not make for a smart move when I’m already occupying the lane. You just about gave me a heart attack when I saw you coming for me, and I’m sure I gave your pacemaker a good run for its money when I laid on the horn. And even then, you didn’t let up. Not really. You just looked stunned and kept going. You're gonna get killed!
Other observances of note;
- I was in heavy traffic on a main road when I heard a rig blowing its horn. Then traffic slowed to a crawl. When I got closer I could see that the outside lane was blocked by a rig, which had a brand new Honda hood ornament. The car must have pulled out in front of the rig, who obviously could not stop in time, and the car got T-boned.
- Some jackass turned onto the road in front of me and then swung over into my lane. I had to slam on the brakes to avoid hitting him, but I figured that would be the worst of it. Nope. He proceeded to straddle 2 lanes, swinging back and forth for the better part of 2 blocks. I would never have tried to pass him, just because he was so erratic. Some other guy in a super cab pick-up truck had no qualms about blasting by the lane straddler at about 80 kms per hour. Ballsy. Really ballsy.
- Lots of HOV lane cheaters this week. I guess it's your choice to take your fucking chances on getting a ticket. How the hell would we all know you were so special if you didn't stand out like a sore thumb, all by yourself in the HOV lane. Retards!
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Put Your Head On My ...
Hey! That merge lane you were in ended about 200 feet ago, and so now you and your little buddy are racing down what we commonly call the shoulder. Dumbass!
Oh yeah, and that traffic on the right up ahead? Yeah, that’s the next onramp’s merge lane and no, you going to the outside of that lane to drive on their shoulder is not a good idea.
Oh yeah, and that traffic on the right up ahead? Yeah, that’s the next onramp’s merge lane and no, you going to the outside of that lane to drive on their shoulder is not a good idea.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
You STUPID bitch!
On my drive in to work this morning I noticed a car behind me that was way too close. So close that I could not see its headlights. So close that their only view was up my tailpipe. Whatever. The only way to fix it would have been to slam on my brakes, have them hit me, and then there’s paperwork and inconvenience, etc. So I let it go. Maybe I shouldn’t have.
Our lane merged onto another street, with two lanes. We both swung over to the left lane. There was one vehicle ahead of me…plus one crosswalk & one pedestrian. The roads were wet. I saw the pedestrian before I saw the vehicle ahead of me brake, so I applied my brakes and slowed to allow him, the pedestrian, to finish crossing the street. The guy ahead of me saw him too and stopped. This all happened very quickly. Too quickly for the STUPID bitch who had her nose up my tailpipe, to stop. After skidding and swerving behind me the STUPID bitch decided to deek to the right to avoid my ass end, and carry on through the crosswalk. OMFG! If not for the fact that the pedestrian had already partially crossed the road, he surely would have been killed!
I seriously (like really seriously) considered pursuing the STUPID bitch so I could tell her exactly what I thought of her. I decided against it because, at best, it would have ended with me kicking the shit out of her and her car.
I hope Karma looks after this STUPID bitch, and quickly. In the meantime, I’ll be keeping an eye out for her myself.
Our lane merged onto another street, with two lanes. We both swung over to the left lane. There was one vehicle ahead of me…plus one crosswalk & one pedestrian. The roads were wet. I saw the pedestrian before I saw the vehicle ahead of me brake, so I applied my brakes and slowed to allow him, the pedestrian, to finish crossing the street. The guy ahead of me saw him too and stopped. This all happened very quickly. Too quickly for the STUPID bitch who had her nose up my tailpipe, to stop. After skidding and swerving behind me the STUPID bitch decided to deek to the right to avoid my ass end, and carry on through the crosswalk. OMFG! If not for the fact that the pedestrian had already partially crossed the road, he surely would have been killed!
I seriously (like really seriously) considered pursuing the STUPID bitch so I could tell her exactly what I thought of her. I decided against it because, at best, it would have ended with me kicking the shit out of her and her car.
I hope Karma looks after this STUPID bitch, and quickly. In the meantime, I’ll be keeping an eye out for her myself.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
This One Is Mine
This is my lane. That, over there, is your lane. I'm sorry there's shit happening that makes you unhappy with your lane, but that doesn't make it ok for you to come over into MY lane! It's mine.
That car's that's turning ahead of you? You'll just have to wait.
The cyclist in your lane? You'll just have to wait for an opportunity to pass that does not involve you hitting me head on.
That parked car on your side of the road. Yeah, that's unfortunate, but again, not my problem so quit swinging in to my lane.
This one is mine, so stay out!
That car's that's turning ahead of you? You'll just have to wait.
The cyclist in your lane? You'll just have to wait for an opportunity to pass that does not involve you hitting me head on.
That parked car on your side of the road. Yeah, that's unfortunate, but again, not my problem so quit swinging in to my lane.
This one is mine, so stay out!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Idiocy Abounds!
Time is short, as is my temper right now, so I’ll keep this brief.
If you have a yield sign, obey it. My horn is getting weak, as is my reluctance to let you run into me.
If there’s a pedestrian in the crosswalk, stop moving and let them finish crossing the road.
Pay attention to what is around you and act accordingly.
Don’t park in the middle of the road.
Don’t pull off the shoulder and into traffic without looking.
Don’t leave your shopping cart in the middle of the grocery store aisle while you peruse the merchandise with the other 2 generations of your family. It impedes traffic. I am traffic. I am also not impressed.
The words, “please excuse me” should be uttered before you push past me, leaving me looking jaw-agape in your direction. Don’t stand there and glare at me as if you have asked me to please move. You haven’t and I’m not going to.
Walk on the right side. It’s like driving. Keep to your side and don’t be surprise the next time I let you walk right into me. Also, that thing, where you walk up to me on the “wrong” side and stop right in front of me, waiting for me to go around you…it’s getting old. I hope you brought a book because I ain’t moving. You’re on the wrong side, YOU go around.
When backing up your vehicle, take a look around before you hurtle backwards. Very often there is something driving by behind you. Often it is me.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Disrespectful
Synonyms are;
aweless, bad-mannered, blasphemous, bold, cheeky, contemptuous, discourteous, disgracious, flip, flippant, fresh, ill-bred, ill-mannered, impertinent, impious, impolite, impudent, insolent, irreverent, misbehaved, nervy, profanatory, profane, rude, sacrilegious, sassy, saucy, smart-alecky, snippy, uncivil, unfilial, ungracious
More and more I’m experiencing what is best described as disrespectful drivers on the roads. I touched on it here and it has reared its ugly head, yet again.
Pull your head out of your ass and use it to shoulder check before you change lanes. Also, you driving sideways into me does not guarantee that I’ll slow down to let you in. Thus far it has been my reluctant choice to brake for you, so as to avoid body damage, however I’m on the verge of making a different choice. And as I’ve alluded to I the past, should you continue to pull that kind of shit, we will meet.
My "Jimmy" of yesterday was a blue Audi A4, plate CDS 339, who had to change lanes and get in front of me, even though he was beside me. I'll post his photo once I dump the pics out of my phone. I think this is exactly why camera phones were invented.
aweless, bad-mannered, blasphemous, bold, cheeky, contemptuous, discourteous, disgracious, flip, flippant, fresh, ill-bred, ill-mannered, impertinent, impious, impolite, impudent, insolent, irreverent, misbehaved, nervy, profanatory, profane, rude, sacrilegious, sassy, saucy, smart-alecky, snippy, uncivil, unfilial, ungracious
More and more I’m experiencing what is best described as disrespectful drivers on the roads. I touched on it here and it has reared its ugly head, yet again.
Pull your head out of your ass and use it to shoulder check before you change lanes. Also, you driving sideways into me does not guarantee that I’ll slow down to let you in. Thus far it has been my reluctant choice to brake for you, so as to avoid body damage, however I’m on the verge of making a different choice. And as I’ve alluded to I the past, should you continue to pull that kind of shit, we will meet.
My "Jimmy" of yesterday was a blue Audi A4, plate CDS 339, who had to change lanes and get in front of me, even though he was beside me. I'll post his photo once I dump the pics out of my phone. I think this is exactly why camera phones were invented.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Jimmy
A group of my co-workers use the name “Jimmy” to generically describe employees who screw up. Here are my Jimmies of late;
302 BJB – Silver CRV – pulled the bully move of merging into the side of me, thereby forcing me to slam on my brakes in order to avoid the collision. There’s such a thing as shoulder checking and also manners, Jimmy! That you laughed about it afterwards further proves that you're just a teenaged asshole. That noise you heard...yeah, that was my horn.
647 GMK – some nondescript gold car with a real jackass behind the wheel. Lane changes over solid white lines, swerving all over the highway using all lanes to seek an advantage, all the while talking away on his cell phone. Pity you got stuck behind that slow car in the fast lane beside me. Way to go, Jimmy! Maybe you should try driving on the shoulder next time. Nard!
This last “Jimmy” really was a Jimmy. A white Jimmy, plate 565 FMB. This winner decided that tailgating the guy in front of me and flashing his lights from high to low beam would be a good way to advance his position…in the grid locked traffic. What the fuck did you think was going to happen for you there? Knob!
302 BJB – Silver CRV – pulled the bully move of merging into the side of me, thereby forcing me to slam on my brakes in order to avoid the collision. There’s such a thing as shoulder checking and also manners, Jimmy! That you laughed about it afterwards further proves that you're just a teenaged asshole. That noise you heard...yeah, that was my horn.
647 GMK – some nondescript gold car with a real jackass behind the wheel. Lane changes over solid white lines, swerving all over the highway using all lanes to seek an advantage, all the while talking away on his cell phone. Pity you got stuck behind that slow car in the fast lane beside me. Way to go, Jimmy! Maybe you should try driving on the shoulder next time. Nard!
This last “Jimmy” really was a Jimmy. A white Jimmy, plate 565 FMB. This winner decided that tailgating the guy in front of me and flashing his lights from high to low beam would be a good way to advance his position…in the grid locked traffic. What the fuck did you think was going to happen for you there? Knob!
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
How Fast Do You Think You Are?
How fast must you think your vehicle to be to pull out in front of me when I'm going highway speed and you, you are starting from a standstill?
Happened this past weekend on a major highway. There were literally 2 seconds between me and the person ahead of me, each of us doing 100k/hr and somehow you decided that there was enough room for you to get in the act. WRONG!!!!
Likewise, on the way home today on the highway, my lane was moving along at speed, the other lane at a standstill due to left turn lane backup. What the hell were you thinking, pulling out of your lane and into mine? Did you not see me? I'll answer that one for ya, and no you did not. If you had you wouldn't have done it. You drive a sub-compact piece of shit and I drive an Explorer, with extraordinary brakes, as evidenced by the fact that I did not paste you. I wasn't real fond of the screeching and the fishtailing, but I figured that would be better than scraping the mess off of my grill. You should be dead.
Unless you're packing a hit of nitrous and are going to use it, don't do that shit.
Where's my amnesty day?
Happened this past weekend on a major highway. There were literally 2 seconds between me and the person ahead of me, each of us doing 100k/hr and somehow you decided that there was enough room for you to get in the act. WRONG!!!!
Likewise, on the way home today on the highway, my lane was moving along at speed, the other lane at a standstill due to left turn lane backup. What the hell were you thinking, pulling out of your lane and into mine? Did you not see me? I'll answer that one for ya, and no you did not. If you had you wouldn't have done it. You drive a sub-compact piece of shit and I drive an Explorer, with extraordinary brakes, as evidenced by the fact that I did not paste you. I wasn't real fond of the screeching and the fishtailing, but I figured that would be better than scraping the mess off of my grill. You should be dead.
Unless you're packing a hit of nitrous and are going to use it, don't do that shit.
Where's my amnesty day?
THE Corner
Do you have a place where bad things repeatedly happen to you while you're driving? I do. It's the corner just up from my house. It has become THE corner. The one where people try and kill me.
My street would be considered the main street and the intersection concerned involves a short 1-block street, notably close to several schools. Countless times while I am driving down my street have jackasses pulled out of the short street and right into my path. I really cannot count the number of times I have almost been hit at this intersection. People pull out, turning left and directly into my path. People pull out to turn right and totally cut me off, to the point where I am at a dead stop in the intersection, wondering "what the hell was that?".
I've taken to driving on the wrong side of the street as I pass by this intersection, if only to allow myself more time to evade the fucktards who will inevitably pull out from the short street. I also make a point of taking a deep breath as I approach, just so I won't be caught thinking about breathing while I evade the next jerk-off to come barreling at me. It has changed who I am, it pisses me off and I'm tired of the anxiety.
I'm waiting for my day of amnesty so I can say "fuck it" and just take the hit.
My street would be considered the main street and the intersection concerned involves a short 1-block street, notably close to several schools. Countless times while I am driving down my street have jackasses pulled out of the short street and right into my path. I really cannot count the number of times I have almost been hit at this intersection. People pull out, turning left and directly into my path. People pull out to turn right and totally cut me off, to the point where I am at a dead stop in the intersection, wondering "what the hell was that?".
I've taken to driving on the wrong side of the street as I pass by this intersection, if only to allow myself more time to evade the fucktards who will inevitably pull out from the short street. I also make a point of taking a deep breath as I approach, just so I won't be caught thinking about breathing while I evade the next jerk-off to come barreling at me. It has changed who I am, it pisses me off and I'm tired of the anxiety.
I'm waiting for my day of amnesty so I can say "fuck it" and just take the hit.
Amnesty
I need a day of it. I want just one day where I don't twist myself into a vehicular pretzel avoiding your dumbass mistakes. Really, I just want to follow through and hit you when you can't negotiate a corner, can't park properly, can't change lanes properly, can't merge worth a shit, make bad lane change choices, yield when you should be merging, dart out in front of me & drive too fucking slow in the fast lane. It's as simple as that. I want you morons to feel the consequences of your actions. I'm not looking to kill you, despite that fact that on many occasions only by the grace of my driving skills have you been allowed to escape with your life. I'd like a day off of being your savior on the road and just let the fenders & bumpers fall where they may.
I'm tired of looking out for you. Really, really tired.
I'm tired of looking out for you. Really, really tired.
Monday, August 21, 2006
I've Got Your Number....
...and I'm calling it!
That's right! If you're foolish enough to drive like a moron with your company's name & number all over your vehicle, then I'm going to give them a jingle. I've recently taken to calling up bus and taxi dispatchers to tell them exactly how badly some of their drivers are representing their company in the real world.
Mr. Taxi driver, who changed lanes through the marked crosswalk, and Mr. Bus driver, who made no less than 6 lanes changes in a 1 km stretch of highway, you are both morons, however your dispatchers are lovely people who took the time to listen to me complain about your foolishness.
So, you there, in the company vehicles, who are driving like knobs...I've got your number and I'm going to use it.
That's right! If you're foolish enough to drive like a moron with your company's name & number all over your vehicle, then I'm going to give them a jingle. I've recently taken to calling up bus and taxi dispatchers to tell them exactly how badly some of their drivers are representing their company in the real world.
Mr. Taxi driver, who changed lanes through the marked crosswalk, and Mr. Bus driver, who made no less than 6 lanes changes in a 1 km stretch of highway, you are both morons, however your dispatchers are lovely people who took the time to listen to me complain about your foolishness.
So, you there, in the company vehicles, who are driving like knobs...I've got your number and I'm going to use it.
Monday, August 14, 2006
My Cruise Control Reveals Your Lack Of Driving Skill
My current vehicle has cruise control & is an automatic. Two features I’ve never had in a vehicle before. I went from changing gears and accelerating on my own to a vehicle that could practically drive itself and only recently have chosen to sometimes relinquish speed control. Hell, I'm behind the wheel so I might as well do something.
While highway driving it is just amazing to me how bad some people are at maintaining a consistent speed and I would not really realize it if it were not for the cruise control. I set my speed and go while others are speeding up and slowing down all over the place. I’m constantly on the brakes or changing lanes to accommodate for the inconsistent or otherwise incompetent. I wonder if I used to be like that? Actually, I don't care if I was. Now everybody else is really annoying me!
While highway driving it is just amazing to me how bad some people are at maintaining a consistent speed and I would not really realize it if it were not for the cruise control. I set my speed and go while others are speeding up and slowing down all over the place. I’m constantly on the brakes or changing lanes to accommodate for the inconsistent or otherwise incompetent. I wonder if I used to be like that? Actually, I don't care if I was. Now everybody else is really annoying me!
NARDS!!!
It’s an old expression that resurfaced in my vocabulary this past weekend. I don’t recall exactly what it meant back in the day, but this weekend it referred to a combination of “knobs” & “retards” on the road. Gawd there were so many of them I can’t even recall the specifics now…except for one…
This past weekend a friend & I went Stateside for a daylong shopping trip, with the majority of the trip being highway driving. On the return trip we encountered the subject of this post. A young lady in a blue Rav 4, pretty obviously a new driver based on her “10 & 2” hand positioning, was also headed home. I drive at the speed limit or a little bit above it, and so generally I’m passing people, or at minimum, moving with the flow of traffic. Being an experienced driver I know to watch the road ahead for slow pokes, on/off ramps & the popo. The young lady was not as savvy…nowhere near in fact.
I set the cruise and we headed on our merry way home. I’m well aware of the law about keeping right except to pass, but as I was doing just above the speed limit, myself and about ½ the others on the road were in the left lane, moving along quite nicely and likely using cruise control.
So I’m driving along in the fast lane, going with the flow of traffic, and Miss Rav 4 is behind me in the slow lane, advancing quite rapidly, only to be slowed by traffic merging from an onramp, and so over she comes into the fast lane, gets by the mergers and back over to the slow lane. And again, she advances quickly up to almost beside me, and again, is slowed by traffic in the slow lane. This time she clues in and stays in the fast lane and is moving along behind me, but then her speed drops off and she slides back over to the slow lane. Then her speed picks up and again she sling shots herself back up beside me, to the point where I think she’s actually going to pass me this time, but alas, again she is slowed by the merging traffic. She swings over to the fast lane, only to find herself going slower than the merging traffic, and so she slides back over to the slow lane. And so it went…continually…for upwards of 30 miles. She actually became a distraction to my driving and it became a game for my passenger and I to guess when Miss Rav 4 would make her next lane change. I swear she made no less than 50 lane changes in about 20 miles, always ending up directly behind me. And so, if you see a young lady in a blue Rav 4, license plate 898 HCX, considered yourself warned and enjoy the sport of watching her flounder about as we did.
This past weekend a friend & I went Stateside for a daylong shopping trip, with the majority of the trip being highway driving. On the return trip we encountered the subject of this post. A young lady in a blue Rav 4, pretty obviously a new driver based on her “10 & 2” hand positioning, was also headed home. I drive at the speed limit or a little bit above it, and so generally I’m passing people, or at minimum, moving with the flow of traffic. Being an experienced driver I know to watch the road ahead for slow pokes, on/off ramps & the popo. The young lady was not as savvy…nowhere near in fact.
I set the cruise and we headed on our merry way home. I’m well aware of the law about keeping right except to pass, but as I was doing just above the speed limit, myself and about ½ the others on the road were in the left lane, moving along quite nicely and likely using cruise control.
So I’m driving along in the fast lane, going with the flow of traffic, and Miss Rav 4 is behind me in the slow lane, advancing quite rapidly, only to be slowed by traffic merging from an onramp, and so over she comes into the fast lane, gets by the mergers and back over to the slow lane. And again, she advances quickly up to almost beside me, and again, is slowed by traffic in the slow lane. This time she clues in and stays in the fast lane and is moving along behind me, but then her speed drops off and she slides back over to the slow lane. Then her speed picks up and again she sling shots herself back up beside me, to the point where I think she’s actually going to pass me this time, but alas, again she is slowed by the merging traffic. She swings over to the fast lane, only to find herself going slower than the merging traffic, and so she slides back over to the slow lane. And so it went…continually…for upwards of 30 miles. She actually became a distraction to my driving and it became a game for my passenger and I to guess when Miss Rav 4 would make her next lane change. I swear she made no less than 50 lane changes in about 20 miles, always ending up directly behind me. And so, if you see a young lady in a blue Rav 4, license plate 898 HCX, considered yourself warned and enjoy the sport of watching her flounder about as we did.
Random Morons
Friday, August 11th – to the moron driving the red Pacific Salmon Commission vehicle; the HOV lane is for 3+ people in your vehicle. It’s not there so that “special” people, alone in their vehicle like you, can go faster than the rest of us.
Since I don’t think you’re capable of behaving like a normal person, how about you save the fucktard driving for your own personal vehicle, and not when you’re out driving the MARKED Pacific Salmon Commission car. Moron!
Monday, August 14th - to the moron driving the white Chevy p/u, license plate 1984 HX – in order for me to know that you want to merge, you have to;
a) be ahead of me and
b) use your indicator so that I can see what it is you want.
Thanks for just about sideswiping me this morning to indicate your lane preference. I’ll be watching for you next time and if you try that shit again we are going to meet. Moron!
Since I don’t think you’re capable of behaving like a normal person, how about you save the fucktard driving for your own personal vehicle, and not when you’re out driving the MARKED Pacific Salmon Commission car. Moron!
Monday, August 14th - to the moron driving the white Chevy p/u, license plate 1984 HX – in order for me to know that you want to merge, you have to;
a) be ahead of me and
b) use your indicator so that I can see what it is you want.
Thanks for just about sideswiping me this morning to indicate your lane preference. I’ll be watching for you next time and if you try that shit again we are going to meet. Moron!
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