I'm Going To Kill This Little Fucker!!!!!!

On Saturday I went to a local mall to check something out on behalf of Barney. I arrived at the busier than hell mall and began to seek a parking spot. Finally I found a person who was leaving and after they pulled out of the spot I advanced towards it. I found myself in the same circumstances I outlined here and again, I decided to take the high road. I indicated to the advancing driver my intention to park in the newly vacated stall after he passed by, and what did he do? He pulled into the fucking parking spot! I seriously thought I was going to kill the little fucker. I laid on the horn, parked myself behind his vehicle, put my hazard lights on, took his picture with my camera phone and called him every name in the book for well over a minute (trust me, it's a long time to be cursing). Him? He hid in his car, secretively sneaking glances at me in his rear view mirror. I was THIS close to doing something that would have landed me an assault charge. Seriously. I haven't felt such rage in a long time. Even the miserable cow I referred to didn't piss me off as badly, probably because I hadn't made eye contact with her. This little fucker who I was going to kill, well that's a different story. He knew what was going on.

While still seething I drove around to snap yet another photograph of the front of his car, found a parking space and went into the mall. On my way towards the entrance door I spotted the little fucker who I was going to kill. He went into the store I was going into.

It took all I had left in me not to confront the little fucker. I decided to go about my business, find the item in question and get the hell away from the mall. To summarize; the item was out of stock and after standing in the line at the customer service counter per the instructions of a staff member (and against my better judgment), I was advised that "rain checks" would not be issued for the item in question. Arrrggghhhhhh!

I need to figure out how to get the pictures out of my phone and onto the computer. I need to do this so I can post the pictures. And also so I can get the license plate of the little fucker who I was going to kill. I've come up with a way around possible assault charges...and I'm ready to try it out.

Oh, and in future, when I see a parking space I want you'd better be ready to hit your brakes because I will be cutting you off from now on.

You Miserable Cow!

Last week I was driving through a parking lot in Washington State when I had an experience that makes me wonder how some people were raised. I was looking for a parking spot and had located someone who was backing out. In order to get to my intended spot I needed to cross in front of oncoming traffic, and because I have manners, I decided not to cut-off the Lexus that was heading in my direction. I signaled my intention and waited for them to drive by, but alas, the Lexus driver was not raised to have manners...

"You miserable cow!", is what I hollered out my window in the direction of said Lexus, as the driver pulled into my intended parking spot. Thanks a lot you weathered old bag! Who the hell taught you to be like that???

I have not totally given up hope that there are still some considerate people out there, but the grey haired bag driving the silver Lexus, with the Washington State license plate 761 FRS, sure as hell ain't one of 'em. Old enough to know better, indeed.