Killer Cat

Just about had a heart attack this morning. If not for a very quick brake foot the title of this post would be Cat Killer, instead. Foolish feline decided to run across the road right in front of me while I was on my way to work this morning. Blur. Brake. Scream. Next thing I know my purse is on the floor and I'm sitting there wondering if there's a squished cat under my tire.

Not a great start to my day but better than if I'd actually hit the little fucker.

Alligators

Alligators...I'm up to my ass in them. Seriously, I don't think I'm going to come up for air again until the Easter long weekend. I've got plenty to say, don't think I don't, but I just have no freaking time to write the shit down. Oy!

Random thought of the day; I need a hair cut.

I'm A Good Mom

I'm a good Mom. I've always believed I was but recently someone told me, and it felt really great to hear. I'm not your typical Mom and my beloved is not your typical offspring. My baby is a black Labrador Retriever, named Coal. He was gifted to me by Barney as a wedding present. He is beautiful, and smart, and funny, and sly. He is special to me in every way, and he is especially different in one way. He has eilepsy. I do for him what any Mom does and I fight for him in every way and make sure he has the best of what he needs and wants. The irony is that allegedy there was concern that I would end up being epileptic, but instead it is my sweet boy dog who is afflicted, and not I. The universe is funny that way.

I Got A Passing Grade. How About You?

You paid attention during 80% of high school!

68-84% Pretty good, you know that there are libraries and newspapers, and you remember what you've read. You were a child that wasn't left behind!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?

The Trouble With Silver

It was the week of morons in silver trucks. WTF?

To the driver of the Silver Tacoma truck, plate # 7259KG, - why did you find it a) necessary and b) acceptable to pull out of your driveway right in front of me when you didn't have a hope of getting up to speed before I arrived on your ass? What the hell was that?

I'll tell you what that was. A mistake! How do I know? Because you thought better of it this morning. Yer learning, but it's a slow process.


Silverado truck, plate # 0621KD - nice move over that solid YELLOW line to complete that illegal lane change. Yep, you're a moron!

Somebody Post My Bail

I've blogged about it before here. This corner has been an ongoing issue since before I bitched about it and the insanity continues. This very evening I was once again cut-off by a fucktard who turned out in front of me. He didn't even slow down. I kid you not. He came flying around the corner at me and cut me off. I laid on the horn as my blood began to boil. I drove, horn blaring & lights flashing at this asshole until he careened around the next available corner and out of my path.

The time is coming, where I will lose control. I can take down plate numbers & I can call the cops, but mark my words, the day will come when I will catch up with one of these fuckers and inflict bodily harm. So get your cheque books ready, because I will need someone to bail my ass out of jail. I kid you not. The time is nigh.

I Want Some Of These!

The Spinning Disc Of Doom

Yesterday I saw, dangling from someone's rearview mirror, a disc. A compact disc, to be exact. Yes, a CD, dangling in all its one shiny side glory, alternately blinding & then distracting a driver, who should really know better than to dangle music/data as a decorative item. What the hell were they thinking?

Random Grievances

Here we go, in no particular order;

Kevin is a jackass. He drives a p/u truck with some sort of writing on it. Part of the writing is his name and phone number. Not really sure what he does for a living, but what he does for a hobby is fail to yield the right of way and cut-off oncoming traffic by turning in front of them. We can now all have some fun by calling Kevin at 999-9062 and telling him what a tard he is. Smarten up Kevin.

Drama Queens - I've had my fill. Our relief receptionist at work is always on the phone with this person or that person and frequently bursts out with "WHUUUUUUTT?????" at the top of her vocal range. Surely there's been a death, or a horrific accident! But no. Each and every time it's something positively mundane, involving her kids or her pets. Nothing serious. Nothing important. Just loud and shrill. Shut the fuck up.

Where did you learn that shit? Seriously. Who the fuck taught you to drive? Did your parents not teach you anything? Gah! Little girl, that long line of traffic ahead of you was caused by a red light. We all had to stop. Well, all of us except you. You instead chose to drive in the oncoming traffic's lane, and then over into the painted lines in order to access the left hand turn lane. The one that many of us ahead of you were also intending to access. Thing is, we waited our fucking turns. We didn't drive into oncoming traffic and we didn't piss off a bunch of other drivers. So, you made the next light, and I did not, because, well, for the most part I obey the rules and I'm not a fuck-up like you. Because Karma is so sweet I did catch up to and got a chance to observe your other moves, such as tailgating. It's a lovely thing to do in the rain. Smart too. Now, I'm not very patient with fuck-ups like you and I wanted you to know, so that's why I stopped about 2" behind your car, got your attention and told you "you're a fucking idiot". In fact, there were two lights so I did it twice. I know you saw me too because your eyes were as big as saucers while you were reading my lips. For those who may not recognise what an asswipe you are here's how the general public can find you. This stupid bitch drives a silver Honda Accord, license plate 198 EEV. Oh yeah, and she also has a homemade "N" taped to her back window. Yes, a homemade "N". What a reject!

Oh the weather outside is frightful. Rain & snow I can take, but wind? Well, that just makes me afraid that the neighbour's trees are going to fall on our house. It's not a farfetched idea, and considering their size, they'd do quite the number on our house...and potentially on our existence.

Grand Plans

I had grand plans for my two weeks off work. I did not accomplish anything remotely grand. On the upside, I do feel well rested and that's been a long time coming. So, I take it back. I feel grand.

On the downside, my alarm clock is going to ring its fool head off at 5:45 am tomorrow and I'm going to have to get up. Fuck!