On my drive in to work this morning I noticed a car behind me that was way too close. So close that I could not see its headlights. So close that their only view was up my tailpipe. Whatever. The only way to fix it would have been to slam on my brakes, have them hit me, and then there’s paperwork and inconvenience, etc. So I let it go. Maybe I shouldn’t have.
Our lane merged onto another street, with two lanes. We both swung over to the left lane. There was one vehicle ahead of me…plus one crosswalk & one pedestrian. The roads were wet. I saw the pedestrian before I saw the vehicle ahead of me brake, so I applied my brakes and slowed to allow him, the pedestrian, to finish crossing the street. The guy ahead of me saw him too and stopped. This all happened very quickly. Too quickly for the STUPID bitch who had her nose up my tailpipe, to stop. After skidding and swerving behind me the STUPID bitch decided to deek to the right to avoid my ass end, and carry on through the crosswalk. OMFG! If not for the fact that the pedestrian had already partially crossed the road, he surely would have been killed!
I seriously (like really seriously) considered pursuing the STUPID bitch so I could tell her exactly what I thought of her. I decided against it because, at best, it would have ended with me kicking the shit out of her and her car.
I hope Karma looks after this STUPID bitch, and quickly. In the meantime, I’ll be keeping an eye out for her myself.
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
"Rumour Has It You Have A Small Dick"
Well, seems the word got out.
Spam. Rumour. What's a girl to do?
Spam. Rumour. What's a girl to do?
Sunday, November 12, 2006
This One Is Mine
This is my lane. That, over there, is your lane. I'm sorry there's shit happening that makes you unhappy with your lane, but that doesn't make it ok for you to come over into MY lane! It's mine.
That car's that's turning ahead of you? You'll just have to wait.
The cyclist in your lane? You'll just have to wait for an opportunity to pass that does not involve you hitting me head on.
That parked car on your side of the road. Yeah, that's unfortunate, but again, not my problem so quit swinging in to my lane.
This one is mine, so stay out!
That car's that's turning ahead of you? You'll just have to wait.
The cyclist in your lane? You'll just have to wait for an opportunity to pass that does not involve you hitting me head on.
That parked car on your side of the road. Yeah, that's unfortunate, but again, not my problem so quit swinging in to my lane.
This one is mine, so stay out!
Snarky Little Bitches!
Today was the day for snarky little bitches. I'm not sure if it's the season or just that the Retail workforce is rife with them, but man they were out in force today!
In one department store I sought out a "Sales Associate", (read 16-year old kid) to bring something down from the top shelf. I had already checked the lower shelves for the size I sought, and it was not there. I had also spied the stepladder and considered just using it to get the item myself, but decided against it. Stupid me. Anyway, I found the Associate, told her I had searched the lower shelves for said item, it wasn't there, and asked her to please bring one down from way above.
She then proceeded to check the very shelving I had just checked and said I had checked. I advised her that she was now double checking, to which she replied, "yeah, but I saw one here yesterday....". What the hell was that? Hello? Child, I just told you it wasn't there! Weren't you listening? *smack*
My second little darling was a cashier's helper at a warehouse store, who had not one ounce of friendliness about her and barked out orders like a sergeant. Who the hell do you think you are, Princess? Piss off you little cow!
I had left a large item in my cart, and I had also left down the shelf (where you'd seat a kid). I use the shelf. I like it to be left down. I wish everyone would quit fucking with my shelf. Anyway, she slammed that puppy shut, glared at me, shoved the large item to the back of my cart and threw the rest of my items haphazardly into the cart. Hmph!
If you know me you'll know that this is not the type of shit I just sit back and take. Once I was done my transaction I removed the items from my cart, shoved the large item to the front of my cart, slammed the shelf back into position and reloaded my cart, all the while glaring at the snarky little cow. Hmph!
In one department store I sought out a "Sales Associate", (read 16-year old kid) to bring something down from the top shelf. I had already checked the lower shelves for the size I sought, and it was not there. I had also spied the stepladder and considered just using it to get the item myself, but decided against it. Stupid me. Anyway, I found the Associate, told her I had searched the lower shelves for said item, it wasn't there, and asked her to please bring one down from way above.
She then proceeded to check the very shelving I had just checked and said I had checked. I advised her that she was now double checking, to which she replied, "yeah, but I saw one here yesterday....". What the hell was that? Hello? Child, I just told you it wasn't there! Weren't you listening? *smack*
My second little darling was a cashier's helper at a warehouse store, who had not one ounce of friendliness about her and barked out orders like a sergeant. Who the hell do you think you are, Princess? Piss off you little cow!
I had left a large item in my cart, and I had also left down the shelf (where you'd seat a kid). I use the shelf. I like it to be left down. I wish everyone would quit fucking with my shelf. Anyway, she slammed that puppy shut, glared at me, shoved the large item to the back of my cart and threw the rest of my items haphazardly into the cart. Hmph!
If you know me you'll know that this is not the type of shit I just sit back and take. Once I was done my transaction I removed the items from my cart, shoved the large item to the front of my cart, slammed the shelf back into position and reloaded my cart, all the while glaring at the snarky little cow. Hmph!
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Idiocy Abounds!
Time is short, as is my temper right now, so I’ll keep this brief.
If you have a yield sign, obey it. My horn is getting weak, as is my reluctance to let you run into me.
If there’s a pedestrian in the crosswalk, stop moving and let them finish crossing the road.
Pay attention to what is around you and act accordingly.
Don’t park in the middle of the road.
Don’t pull off the shoulder and into traffic without looking.
Don’t leave your shopping cart in the middle of the grocery store aisle while you peruse the merchandise with the other 2 generations of your family. It impedes traffic. I am traffic. I am also not impressed.
The words, “please excuse me” should be uttered before you push past me, leaving me looking jaw-agape in your direction. Don’t stand there and glare at me as if you have asked me to please move. You haven’t and I’m not going to.
Walk on the right side. It’s like driving. Keep to your side and don’t be surprise the next time I let you walk right into me. Also, that thing, where you walk up to me on the “wrong” side and stop right in front of me, waiting for me to go around you…it’s getting old. I hope you brought a book because I ain’t moving. You’re on the wrong side, YOU go around.
When backing up your vehicle, take a look around before you hurtle backwards. Very often there is something driving by behind you. Often it is me.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Disrespectful
Synonyms are;
aweless, bad-mannered, blasphemous, bold, cheeky, contemptuous, discourteous, disgracious, flip, flippant, fresh, ill-bred, ill-mannered, impertinent, impious, impolite, impudent, insolent, irreverent, misbehaved, nervy, profanatory, profane, rude, sacrilegious, sassy, saucy, smart-alecky, snippy, uncivil, unfilial, ungracious
More and more I’m experiencing what is best described as disrespectful drivers on the roads. I touched on it here and it has reared its ugly head, yet again.
Pull your head out of your ass and use it to shoulder check before you change lanes. Also, you driving sideways into me does not guarantee that I’ll slow down to let you in. Thus far it has been my reluctant choice to brake for you, so as to avoid body damage, however I’m on the verge of making a different choice. And as I’ve alluded to I the past, should you continue to pull that kind of shit, we will meet.
My "Jimmy" of yesterday was a blue Audi A4, plate CDS 339, who had to change lanes and get in front of me, even though he was beside me. I'll post his photo once I dump the pics out of my phone. I think this is exactly why camera phones were invented.
aweless, bad-mannered, blasphemous, bold, cheeky, contemptuous, discourteous, disgracious, flip, flippant, fresh, ill-bred, ill-mannered, impertinent, impious, impolite, impudent, insolent, irreverent, misbehaved, nervy, profanatory, profane, rude, sacrilegious, sassy, saucy, smart-alecky, snippy, uncivil, unfilial, ungracious
More and more I’m experiencing what is best described as disrespectful drivers on the roads. I touched on it here and it has reared its ugly head, yet again.
Pull your head out of your ass and use it to shoulder check before you change lanes. Also, you driving sideways into me does not guarantee that I’ll slow down to let you in. Thus far it has been my reluctant choice to brake for you, so as to avoid body damage, however I’m on the verge of making a different choice. And as I’ve alluded to I the past, should you continue to pull that kind of shit, we will meet.
My "Jimmy" of yesterday was a blue Audi A4, plate CDS 339, who had to change lanes and get in front of me, even though he was beside me. I'll post his photo once I dump the pics out of my phone. I think this is exactly why camera phones were invented.
Sunday, October 22, 2006
Dear Santa
I need a notepad for Christmas. Something small I can keep in my vehicle, for when I need to write down the license plate numbers of the morons around me.
I keep writing the info down on scraps of paper and on receipts and then I lose track of them.
I don't want to give the impression that things are improving out there on the roads. Because they're not. I just need a better system.
I keep writing the info down on scraps of paper and on receipts and then I lose track of them.
I don't want to give the impression that things are improving out there on the roads. Because they're not. I just need a better system.
I'm Going To Kill This Little Fucker!!!!!!
On Saturday I went to a local mall to check something out on behalf of Barney. I arrived at the busier than hell mall and began to seek a parking spot. Finally I found a person who was leaving and after they pulled out of the spot I advanced towards it. I found myself in the same circumstances I outlined here and again, I decided to take the high road. I indicated to the advancing driver my intention to park in the newly vacated stall after he passed by, and what did he do? He pulled into the fucking parking spot! I seriously thought I was going to kill the little fucker. I laid on the horn, parked myself behind his vehicle, put my hazard lights on, took his picture with my camera phone and called him every name in the book for well over a minute (trust me, it's a long time to be cursing). Him? He hid in his car, secretively sneaking glances at me in his rear view mirror. I was THIS close to doing something that would have landed me an assault charge. Seriously. I haven't felt such rage in a long time. Even the miserable cow I referred to didn't piss me off as badly, probably because I hadn't made eye contact with her. This little fucker who I was going to kill, well that's a different story. He knew what was going on.
While still seething I drove around to snap yet another photograph of the front of his car, found a parking space and went into the mall. On my way towards the entrance door I spotted the little fucker who I was going to kill. He went into the store I was going into.
It took all I had left in me not to confront the little fucker. I decided to go about my business, find the item in question and get the hell away from the mall. To summarize; the item was out of stock and after standing in the line at the customer service counter per the instructions of a staff member (and against my better judgment), I was advised that "rain checks" would not be issued for the item in question. Arrrggghhhhhh!
I need to figure out how to get the pictures out of my phone and onto the computer. I need to do this so I can post the pictures. And also so I can get the license plate of the little fucker who I was going to kill. I've come up with a way around possible assault charges...and I'm ready to try it out.
Oh, and in future, when I see a parking space I want you'd better be ready to hit your brakes because I will be cutting you off from now on.
While still seething I drove around to snap yet another photograph of the front of his car, found a parking space and went into the mall. On my way towards the entrance door I spotted the little fucker who I was going to kill. He went into the store I was going into.
It took all I had left in me not to confront the little fucker. I decided to go about my business, find the item in question and get the hell away from the mall. To summarize; the item was out of stock and after standing in the line at the customer service counter per the instructions of a staff member (and against my better judgment), I was advised that "rain checks" would not be issued for the item in question. Arrrggghhhhhh!
I need to figure out how to get the pictures out of my phone and onto the computer. I need to do this so I can post the pictures. And also so I can get the license plate of the little fucker who I was going to kill. I've come up with a way around possible assault charges...and I'm ready to try it out.
Oh, and in future, when I see a parking space I want you'd better be ready to hit your brakes because I will be cutting you off from now on.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Jimmy
A group of my co-workers use the name “Jimmy” to generically describe employees who screw up. Here are my Jimmies of late;
302 BJB – Silver CRV – pulled the bully move of merging into the side of me, thereby forcing me to slam on my brakes in order to avoid the collision. There’s such a thing as shoulder checking and also manners, Jimmy! That you laughed about it afterwards further proves that you're just a teenaged asshole. That noise you heard...yeah, that was my horn.
647 GMK – some nondescript gold car with a real jackass behind the wheel. Lane changes over solid white lines, swerving all over the highway using all lanes to seek an advantage, all the while talking away on his cell phone. Pity you got stuck behind that slow car in the fast lane beside me. Way to go, Jimmy! Maybe you should try driving on the shoulder next time. Nard!
This last “Jimmy” really was a Jimmy. A white Jimmy, plate 565 FMB. This winner decided that tailgating the guy in front of me and flashing his lights from high to low beam would be a good way to advance his position…in the grid locked traffic. What the fuck did you think was going to happen for you there? Knob!
302 BJB – Silver CRV – pulled the bully move of merging into the side of me, thereby forcing me to slam on my brakes in order to avoid the collision. There’s such a thing as shoulder checking and also manners, Jimmy! That you laughed about it afterwards further proves that you're just a teenaged asshole. That noise you heard...yeah, that was my horn.
647 GMK – some nondescript gold car with a real jackass behind the wheel. Lane changes over solid white lines, swerving all over the highway using all lanes to seek an advantage, all the while talking away on his cell phone. Pity you got stuck behind that slow car in the fast lane beside me. Way to go, Jimmy! Maybe you should try driving on the shoulder next time. Nard!
This last “Jimmy” really was a Jimmy. A white Jimmy, plate 565 FMB. This winner decided that tailgating the guy in front of me and flashing his lights from high to low beam would be a good way to advance his position…in the grid locked traffic. What the fuck did you think was going to happen for you there? Knob!
Vacation
I was recently on vacation. 3 weeks worth, actually. It was bliss. I spent my time in and around BC and I have to say, the further I got from home, the fewer "bad" drivers I found. Maybe it's that I was just more forgiving of the transgressions but honestly, no real "winners" stand out.
This is my third day back and as you'll see in my next post, a fuck-up a day keeps the low blood pressure away.
This is my third day back and as you'll see in my next post, a fuck-up a day keeps the low blood pressure away.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)