The Trouble With Silver

It was the week of morons in silver trucks. WTF?

To the driver of the Silver Tacoma truck, plate # 7259KG, - why did you find it a) necessary and b) acceptable to pull out of your driveway right in front of me when you didn't have a hope of getting up to speed before I arrived on your ass? What the hell was that?

I'll tell you what that was. A mistake! How do I know? Because you thought better of it this morning. Yer learning, but it's a slow process.


Silverado truck, plate # 0621KD - nice move over that solid YELLOW line to complete that illegal lane change. Yep, you're a moron!

Somebody Post My Bail

I've blogged about it before here. This corner has been an ongoing issue since before I bitched about it and the insanity continues. This very evening I was once again cut-off by a fucktard who turned out in front of me. He didn't even slow down. I kid you not. He came flying around the corner at me and cut me off. I laid on the horn as my blood began to boil. I drove, horn blaring & lights flashing at this asshole until he careened around the next available corner and out of my path.

The time is coming, where I will lose control. I can take down plate numbers & I can call the cops, but mark my words, the day will come when I will catch up with one of these fuckers and inflict bodily harm. So get your cheque books ready, because I will need someone to bail my ass out of jail. I kid you not. The time is nigh.

I Want Some Of These!

The Spinning Disc Of Doom

Yesterday I saw, dangling from someone's rearview mirror, a disc. A compact disc, to be exact. Yes, a CD, dangling in all its one shiny side glory, alternately blinding & then distracting a driver, who should really know better than to dangle music/data as a decorative item. What the hell were they thinking?

Random Grievances

Here we go, in no particular order;

Kevin is a jackass. He drives a p/u truck with some sort of writing on it. Part of the writing is his name and phone number. Not really sure what he does for a living, but what he does for a hobby is fail to yield the right of way and cut-off oncoming traffic by turning in front of them. We can now all have some fun by calling Kevin at 999-9062 and telling him what a tard he is. Smarten up Kevin.

Drama Queens - I've had my fill. Our relief receptionist at work is always on the phone with this person or that person and frequently bursts out with "WHUUUUUUTT?????" at the top of her vocal range. Surely there's been a death, or a horrific accident! But no. Each and every time it's something positively mundane, involving her kids or her pets. Nothing serious. Nothing important. Just loud and shrill. Shut the fuck up.

Where did you learn that shit? Seriously. Who the fuck taught you to drive? Did your parents not teach you anything? Gah! Little girl, that long line of traffic ahead of you was caused by a red light. We all had to stop. Well, all of us except you. You instead chose to drive in the oncoming traffic's lane, and then over into the painted lines in order to access the left hand turn lane. The one that many of us ahead of you were also intending to access. Thing is, we waited our fucking turns. We didn't drive into oncoming traffic and we didn't piss off a bunch of other drivers. So, you made the next light, and I did not, because, well, for the most part I obey the rules and I'm not a fuck-up like you. Because Karma is so sweet I did catch up to and got a chance to observe your other moves, such as tailgating. It's a lovely thing to do in the rain. Smart too. Now, I'm not very patient with fuck-ups like you and I wanted you to know, so that's why I stopped about 2" behind your car, got your attention and told you "you're a fucking idiot". In fact, there were two lights so I did it twice. I know you saw me too because your eyes were as big as saucers while you were reading my lips. For those who may not recognise what an asswipe you are here's how the general public can find you. This stupid bitch drives a silver Honda Accord, license plate 198 EEV. Oh yeah, and she also has a homemade "N" taped to her back window. Yes, a homemade "N". What a reject!

Oh the weather outside is frightful. Rain & snow I can take, but wind? Well, that just makes me afraid that the neighbour's trees are going to fall on our house. It's not a farfetched idea, and considering their size, they'd do quite the number on our house...and potentially on our existence.

Grand Plans

I had grand plans for my two weeks off work. I did not accomplish anything remotely grand. On the upside, I do feel well rested and that's been a long time coming. So, I take it back. I feel grand.

On the downside, my alarm clock is going to ring its fool head off at 5:45 am tomorrow and I'm going to have to get up. Fuck!

I Just Wanted Some Light Reading

So I thought I'd hit the "next blog" button and see where it would take me. I was hoping for some light reading, maybe some humour, but no. I got fucking spammed! http://randomblogbutton.blogspot.com/

I don't want to read the 100 links to whatever topic you decided was right for me. I don't want to know how to increase the size of my non-existent penis & I especially don't want to buy your fucking drugs!

Now piss off and present me with something light & fluffy to read! Now!!

Skeeved Out By A Creepy Guy

Today I was in the checkout line at a department store. I had a shopping cart full of stuff, as did the guy in front of me. Do you ever look at someone and instantly they skeeve you out? A quick glance and you just get creeped out? Today, that was the guy who was in front of me. He kept checking out what everyone else was up to, rather than just waiting his boring old time in line, like the rest of us. He hopped up and sat on the conveyor of the empty till next to us, then jumped off like 10 seconds later. He moved his cart around, back and forth. He spent far too much time trying to see what was in my cart. Too bad for skeeve boy that all of my stuff was in a plastic tote with a cushion on top, blocking his skeeved out view! Fucking creepy guy.

Far too nosey and dressed far too much like Magnum P.I., and with the moustache to boot! Creepy!

Accident Waiting To Happen

I am an accident waiting to happen. I swear, it's like a cloud that hangs over me. Some might say that I am just not careful enough. Others might say it's something more powerful. A force, if you will.

Bruises, scrapes, stitches, butterfly bandages, road rash, dog bite, emergency surgery; been there, and done them all. Here are some highlights, in a mostly chronological order;

Dropped scissors into my leg - butterfly bandage (Dad)
Fell off my bike - stitches in my chin (ER)
Fell partially through a wharf - one leg stuck & bruised
Cut my fingers carving a pumpkin - stitches (ER)
Bitten by a dog - large gaping wound, no stitches (& no Dr. in the fucking ER) - 6 weeks to heal
Sliced head open on a locker handle - stitches (ER)
Took a softball line drive in the shin - twice in one week, same spot - permanent bruise & chunk missing from shin bone.
Crashed an ATC (my fault, bad judgement) - tore my ACL, soft tissue damage - Dr., Physio Therapy - permanent damage
Emergency appendectomy - 5 hrs undiagnosed in ER, then 5 hours undiagnosed in a second ER the following day, followed by admittance to yet another hospital, finally diagnosed with a ruptured appendix - 8 days in the hospital - major surgery
Stepped on a nail - tetanus shot (ER), combined with breaking 1 toe (both, within 10 days of completing a two day - 60k walk)
Various burns - frying pans, lamps, oven, etc. etc.
Screw driven into and through thumb nail - did it yesterday and it fucking hurts!
Numerous sprains & twists, bursitis, tendinitis and a rotator cuff injury.

Yes, it feels like about 80% of the time I am injured, recovering from an injury or about to be injured.

Wonder what tomorrow will bring?

Where Do All The Words Go?

I have countless things to say and blog about, really I do, but when I sit down in front of the computer, I get writer's block. And it sucks.

Injustices, observations, idiocy, commentary and judgement are all on the tip of my tongue as I travel the highways & byways. Hell, they're screaming out of my mouth in most cases. I think I need one of those recording devices. Nothing fancy. Just something that will record long enough for me to tell the story as it unravels so I can post it later.

Also still have to figure out how to get the photos out of my phone. Too many license plates for one little phone.